It's been a while

So, it's been a while since I've written anything and I know that my "many" readers (ha ha) are probably dying to hear from me. Well, now you shall.

The weeks since I last wrote on my blog have been interesting. I began to date an amazing man who treats me like a queen. He opened my doors, wanted to buy me the best and told me all the time how beautiful and amazing I was. Most importantly he loves the Lord and wants to live his life to serve Him. Well, sadly we are not dating any longer. That was quick huh? Oh, we still care for each other and we still want to date but some things in life don't always work out the way we want them to.

The Lord does not promise that the things we want will come easily. Actually, He promises that the path we follow, when we follow Him will not be easy. So what does that have to do with my dating life? Well, because of some things that I was made aware of we have had to "pause" our relationship. This has been hard for me because I really care for him and he cares for me. However, the Lord really burdened me to step back and let the issues that need to be worked out, get worked out. It's not easy and my heart is breaking daily. But, I know that if the issues aren't worked on now, then our relationship will always be full of doubt, fear, frustration and hurt. We would never have a healthy relationship and I don't want that.

So, we have determined that if we are meant to be together, then 8 months from now (not really sure where that number came from) we will be together. It hurts though and I miss him. We are not going to spend a lot of time together and we won't be talking much because these things need to be dealt with without "us" in the picture. So, I have spent the past 4 days fighting tears and praying that God would show me what He wants from this. Is He making us stronger separately so that we are strong together? Why did we have to be together for the short period of time we were, just to have to be apart for 8 months?

It is so hard not to know what will happen but I think of a quote that I see every day. Corrie ten Boom said, "Never be afraid to trust an unknown future to a known God." So, while I don't know what the future holds; though I know what I hope it holds, I do know my God and my Father and I do know that HE never fails me. I know that no matter how much I hurt right now and no matter how many tears I am shedding or fighting He is in control and things will work out for HIS glory in the end.

Do I wish things were different? Yes. Do I wish that I could still be dating him and not having to wait 8 months? Yes. Would I change anything that God is doing right now so that my fleshly heart would be satisfied over the heart that seeks to follow God? No ... that was hard to right but it is true.

So, I will continue to trust in my God and my Father but do me a favor and say a little prayer for me from time to time.

Jeremiah 29:11 (New International Version)

11 For I know the plans I have for you," declares the LORD, "plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future.